Marriage is a covenant, not a contract, and asking the right questions now lays the groundwork for love, unity, and faithfulness in the years ahead.

Here are key questions to explore before your wedding, either together or with a pre-marital counselor.

Faith & Values

Your faith doesn’t just shape what you believe; it influences how you love, lead, forgive, and serve. A shared commitment to Christ is a strong anchor, especially when life gets messy. Even if your faith journeys look a little different, it’s important to know where you each stand, how you’ll grow together spiritually, and what it looks like to keep God at the center of your home.

• What role will faith play in our daily life and marriage?
• How will we handle spiritual differences or dry seasons?
• Do we agree on how to prioritize church, prayer, giving, and serving?

Love, Conflict & Communication

Marriage isn't built on feelings. It's built on communication, commitment, and the daily choice to love. You won’t always see eye to eye, and that’s okay. What matters is how you handle it. These questions help you think through how you both deal with stress, anger, hurt, and forgiveness. It’s not about being conflict-free, but conflict-resilient.

• What does love look like to you during hard seasons?
• How do we each handle conflict? What helps us resolve it well?
• Can we speak honestly and humbly, even when it's uncomfortable?

Money & Stewardship

Money is one of the most common sources of tension in marriage—not because of how much you have, but because of how you view it. This conversation is less about math and more about mindset. Are you on the same page about generosity, spending, saving, and debt? Do your financial habits reflect shared trust and purpose?

• What are our beliefs around saving, giving, and debt?
• How will we handle finances: joint accounts, budgeting, spending habits?
• What financial baggage or goals are we each bringing in?

Family, Roles & Priorities

You’re not just marrying a person; you’re becoming each other’s family. It’s worth talking through what that shift means for boundaries with extended family, home responsibilities, and life rhythms. This is also a good space to explore expectations, traditions, and even potential frustrations that might arise when two different backgrounds come together.

• What does “leaving and cleaving” look like with our families of origin?
• What expectations do we have around roles in the home?
• How will we make decisions, especially when we disagree?

Kids & Parenting

If kids are in your future (or even if you’re unsure), it’s important to talk about what raising a family might look like. These conversations go beyond diapers and discipline. They touch on your values, your patience, your teamwork, and the legacy you want to leave. It’s about aligning now so you can lead your future children with peace and purpose.

• Do we both want children? When and how many?
• What values and discipline methods matter most to us?
• How will we protect our marriage while raising kids?

Vision & Commitment

Life will bring joy, change, and hardship—and your marriage will meet all of it. What holds you together in those seasons isn’t just shared dreams, but shared promises. This section helps you name your vision and reinforce your “why” so when the storms come (and they will), you’ll be ready to face them together, hand in hand, with Christ as your foundation.

• Where do we see ourselves in 5, 10, 20 years?
• What does “for better or worse” mean to each of us?
• When we hit hard seasons (and we will), what will keep us from walking away?

Move Toward the Altar With Confidence

Marriage isn’t about perfection—it’s about partnership. Pray together. Seek wise counsel. Be honest with each other. The goal isn’t to check off boxes, but to build a shared foundation of trust, faith, and love. When you honestly explore and answer these questions with your significant other prior to your wedding day, it helps set your marriage up for success in the years ahead.

Are you looking for a pre-martial counselor in Chandler, AZ? Our therapists would be delighted to provide the thoughtful support you need with our pre-martial counseling services in Chandler, AZ. Reach out to our team today to get started. We offer in-person and virtual therapy sessions to couples in Chandler, AZ, and the surrounding areas.